Monday, August 11, 2008

Glug, Glug

Do you ever wonder why you are still alive? I had a little minor incident last evening that made me again take note how one escapes the fingers of death. The thing about this little water endeavor is that it is not the first time it has happened to me. Ummm no not even the second time. It is the third time and I swear I still have not learned my lesson. Shhh! Don't tell the farmer.

We have a swimming pool. Most people are able to gracefully walk around the pool, swim in the pool on purpose or at the very least stay away from the pool. I like to swim but have never been a strong swimmer. I spent most of my swimming lessons trying to impress the little boys in my class instead of practicing what was being taught. But still I can manage not to drown. Usually.

We are surrounded by fir trees and so there is always stuff like needles blowing in the pool and I am the lucky one who cleans it, sometimes twice a day. But I also use a leaf blower to blow away the debris that accumulates on the cement surrounding the pool. In doing this I must walk backwards. I think you know where I am going here. The first time I do admit I was scooping with a net and just walked in backwards and glugged to the bottom of the deep end by the diving board. Fully clothed....yes with shoes and socks. Of course I was fine. I just looked like a drowned rat clawing my way out as the heaviness of the water pulled my pants down in the back. The only person there was the farmer who was in the house watching television. I tried the back door into the master bedroom/bathroom but it was locked.  I ended up scratching red faced at the sliding glass door and asked him to open the locked door into our bedroom so I could come in without dripping all over the rest of the house. Needless to say he thought this was very hilarious and he who never laughs much guffawed for days.

So the second time I decided to try to kill myself take a swim I was using our electric leaf blower and darned if I didn't do the same thing. Only this time I was beside our slide and it was like slow motion...my right arm flailing around in circles in the air trying to catch my balance while in my left hand I had a death grip (literally) on the leaf blower. No thought in my tiny little brain to throw that leaf blower as far away on the dry ground as possible. No, I had to take it for a swim with me still blowing, now the water. As soon as I hit the water I realized that perhaps I should not be trying to take my little friend the ELECTRIC leaf blower in for a swim with me and pushed that baby as far away from me under water as I could.  I swam the fastest and strongest I have ever swam to the surface and clawed my way up the ladder and out. Fortunately for me there was a ground and the electricity cut as soon as it hit the water. However, I wasn't taking any chances so I slogged and squish squashed across our deck and unplugged the blower and pulled it out of the water. Again farmer is sitting in the house reading the paper and there was no way I wanted to admit that I did this little water aerobic. So I thought that I had found a way to sneak in and dry off by using the extra key we keep hidden for emergencies. But the screen door to the bedroom was locked from the inside. So back to the sliding glass door I schlepped and begged for mercy and an unlocked door. Farmer tried to pretend he was worried that I could have been electrocuted but then burst into laughter.

So tonight I was cleaning the pool after farmer went to town. No I did not fall all the way in this time. I managed to only fall part way in. Wouldn't you think I would get it? Perhaps I should be harnessed to the house somehow like you see those people who are working on a steep pitched roof.  At least this time he was not home and I hope our neighbors could not hear my choice words. I do think that pretty little bird I talked about in a previous post now sings a different tune. I think I heard him choking on his laughter since the farmer was not home to do it for him. 

Shouldn't there be a moral to this story? Like keep the door unlocked so you can sneak in to avoid laughter, don't walk backwards or better yet, hire a pool boy.

14 comments:

the7msn said...

I'm thinkin' you should just turn the chore over to the farmer!

Mental P Mama said...

Yeah. Why is the farmer always relaxing during pool-chore time? Maybe you should wear a life jacket...at any rate, I hear you on the debris. I'm OCD when it comes to keeping the pool clear.

Kristi said...

I'd go for the pool boy!!! That is hilarious!!!! Are you sure you are not turning into our mother???

You crack me up!

Em said...

I agree that the farmer should be the one to take over this particular chore... I'm sorry to admit it, but I was laughing really hard while reading this post! Whaaaa haaa haa! Sorry...

Jill said...

ha ha ha ha ha! Poor Mom! Why does this stuff always happen to you? he he! I'm sure glad you haven't drowned on any of these excursions so far, but I think it's time to shove Dad out the door with the pool sweep!

Lora said...

HMMMMMM! Maybe it is just me-but I ALWAYS walk forwards when blowing & I blow off everyday! Maybe you have depth perception problems! I would give the pool job up for sure!

tipper said...

I think the farmer needs to take over the job-like now!!!

noble pig said...

Oh Lord...it's funny BUT NOT! Good gracious woman you need to be careful!

I wish there was a You Tube video of this!

Carolynn said...

DEFINITELY hire the pool boy. Then we'll see who's doing the laughing! ;o)

Country Girl said...

This sounds exactly like something I would do.

I am very clumsy sometimes.

God, I'm glad you didn't get hurt!

Junebug said...

Hmmm....pool boy? Check.
Farmer? Check.
Keep door unlocked? Check.
All of the above. :D

CeeCee said...

OMGoodness, I read pool and leaf blower in the same sentence and panicked before I even read to the end. I'm so glad you weren't electrocuted!

I would think Farmer would be more than happy to take over pool duties if a pool boy showed up. :)

Twinville said...

Oh my! Thank goodness for ground protected electric appliances nowadays! Whew!
Looks like the Farmer is appreciating the comic relief your've been supplying.

I say you make the Farmer the Pool boy!
What fun....and you sit beside the pool with a glass of cool mint tea and a good book.

Farmgirl_dk: said...

Seriously, I'm with the 7MSN - time to relinquish your hold on this particular duty. Sheesh...this could have been sooo bad...all THREE times. You remind me of my sister...she has issues like this with vacuum cleaners - they keep electrocuting her and she JUST won't stop messing with them! lol